solo: under my umbrella.

under my umbrella
raindrops. pedestrian. solo

i didn't sing
i didn't capture
i didn't dancing
there's only smile of mine
enjoying this solitary moment.

"let it go."

"let it be."

***

3 short words each. 2 simple sentences. 1 hard-to-do-thing.

terjebak.

terlalu banyak hal yang melintas
terlalu banyak kata untuk dikatakan
terlalu banyak rasa yang dirasa
tak satu pun dapat keluar
terucap. dinyatakan. diekspresikan.
tidak, tidak satu pun.

berat tanpa batu di pundak
bisu dengan suara teramat lantang
sesak di tengah oksigen yang melimpah
apakah itu semua hanya fantasi?
fantasi akan penderitaan
entahlah...
namun yang jelas, ia terjebak.

i need to move

it feels that this place doesn't fit me anymore. like a snail, it needs a new shell when it grows up. need more space to breathe and grow up. the tension is getting higher, the pressure is pressing me more and more. i need to move and fly away, seriously.

in the dark side of the moon.

in the dark side of the moon, loving you is to feel all your sorrow.
in the shadow, staring at you is to see the loneliness in your eyes.

night oh night, it's still young.
night oh night, it's getting deeper.

you might not see,
may the stars know it...

high thanatos: random thoughts.

i don't believe in 100%.
it's more about equilibrium, instead of consistency.

do not ask for understanding, nobody knows you at all.
do not blame, your life, your own responsibility.

life is a great murderer, everyone is suffering.
you're not alone, everyone is a masochist.

god is the mighty director.
human are great actors and actresses.

no title

God, i hate that! zzz i won't do anything. you know me, i won't do anything!!! i take this burden all alone, and i'm always ready for that, but please don't hurt me that way. you know me God, no one knows better than You. eergh zzz emang gue mau ngapain sih!! ga bakal ngapain2 kalii gue juga udah ribet sendiri sama urursan gue aaaargh, ga bakal ngapa2in gueeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i got no intention, that kind of intention. noooo you're wrong! i hate that really hate that. :(