Oh macbookku, oh dataku... (T-T)

macbookku dulu tak begini
tapi sekarang sepi banget
oh ilang oh ilang
ilang semua
oh dataku semua ilang

(pinjem ya jinglenya Scott's Emultion)

Midnight Highway

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass
I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,
Didn't think you'd feel so far away
And your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway,
Autumn's amber red shadows dance
I miss our midnight rides on highway 18, 18 is gone

And so go past the lights and all the excuses
You could have left "sincerely yours"
Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more?
Cause anything too daring to say to you,
Will be said in this letter, then burned away
So you never realize, I'm here

I'm thinking of your vague reply
So I can understand
Why we put this at rest
Why we forget to
Say that we were leaving
And say that we were sorry
The past remains unspoken
As this vacant night is dying
But I still miss your summer perfume
This cold air brings in such a distance to us
Such a painful distance
And I'm still waiting for you to say you hate me now
So I don't have to, hold on to this burning heart
This burning heart is getting old, getting old
And while I'm sitting on this cold kitchen floor,
Head down to hide the tears,
I've realized
I've finally realized that you were never meant for me

by Daphne Loves Derby

make me believe

i sit down along with emptiness
being with a cold silence

this wounded heart is getting old
tired of holding on

am i ready to give up?
should i give up?

please
just take my hand and hold it
please
make me believe

lelah.kecewa.sakit

gw MUAK. gw KECEWA berat. gw ENEG

maksudnya apa sih semua ini? is it a bullshit? damn! why am i so stupid to believe it?

MAUNYA APA?!!

Tuhan saya cape, saya bukan manusia super. Harus ya selalu begini? Mendingan ga usah beri harapan sama sekali? Saya udah terbiasa dengan luka itu. Saya sudah berusaha menyembuhkan rasa itu, mematikannya TAPI sekarang harapan justru mengoyak semuanya. Harus ya luka tambah dalem?

I'd rather die then.

Tuhan kenapa saya terlalu bodoh? KENAPA? Klu emang ga boleh kenapa harus saya diberi harapan palsu? Saya udah terbiasa dengan kekecewaan itu dan ga perlu ko klu cuma dikasih harapan palsu. Kenapa sih harus dikoyak lagi? Apa ini emang caranya untuk saya mematikan rasa? Apa emang saya harus menjadi seseorang yang kebas??

gw BENCI dengan diri gw yang teramat bodoh ini. Tampaknya saya mati pun takkan ada yang peduli. MUAK. Mau mati saja. Kenapa saya harus terlalu bodoh seperti ini?

Saya dapat bertahan dengan luka yang telah saya miliki selama ini, saya sudah terbiasa menyimpan luka memendam rasa, saya sudah BIASA. Masih tak cukupkah itu? Harus hancur seperti apa saya?

Kenapa ga bunuh aja sekalian? Apa harus disiksa dulu? Saya LELAH. Bullshit semua tentang ketulusan. Itu hanya kebodohan gw aja.

Saya harus sekecewa apalagi?? Gw bener-bener GA NGERTI.

Gw SAKIT.

Tuhan emang saya jahat banget ya, sampe harus dihukum kayak gini?

Masih boleh ga saya triak? SAYA KECEWA!!!!!