gue ga tau dengan jelas itu maksudnya apa, becanda? mancing? yang jelas menurut gw itu jahat. jahat banget. dia, mereka emang ga pernah menghargai perasaan gw.

jahat.

everything seems unreal now
i don't know whether whom i am with
sometimes i just need a real someone
a friend is more than enough

i never know where the people are
maybe it's just my illusion
well i began to lose my faith in everyone

musim

daun pun telah menguning lalu segera meranggas
angin berhembus menghantar daun
hingga dunia menjadi putih gemerlap
angin tetap berhembus menghantar es

keabadian rasa, sungguhkah ia ada?
sungguhkah ada kesetiaan semacam itu?

kepercayaan sejati, sungguhkah ia ada?
sungguhkah ada ketetapan semacam itu?

aku, kamu dan dunia bertumbuh dan berubah
dihadapkan kepada kenihilan sang kebenaran sejati

sejauh apakah kau memandang realitas
masihkah kamu akan diam tanpa bertanya?

tersentak
apa kabar dengan konsep kepercayaan?

es pun akhirnya mencari, sungai pun mengalir
angin berhembus menghantar benih
hingga dunia menjadi semarak penuh warna
angin tetap berhembus menghantar panas

imajiner

aku melihat kesunyian yang begitu indah
ketika diam menghantarkan semua rasa melalui partikel partikel terkecil dalam ruang waktu
ya aku di sana dan diam
merasakan gelombang suara yang tak akan pernah bisa didengar oleh telinga
lantunan nada yang begitu indah, membawa jiwamu melayang dan menari
hanya ada aku dan aku
tenggelam dalam suatu momentum kebebasan imajiner

die Zeit

waktu kelak akan berpuisi jua

paradoks

hidup dalam suatu ruang waktu
ruang milik sang waktu yang maha kuasa

menghayati sebuah kegelapan abadi
bertanya bilakah waktu berkata bahwa aku telah mendapat cukup sinar
menghayati sebuah perpisahan abadi
bertanya bilakah waktu berkata bahwa aku telah cukup bertatap muka

aku terus berjalan untuk menikmati tidur yang lelap
aku setia hadir untuk mendengar nyanyian sayonara yang merdu

bersiap menyambut kematian
menghayati kehidupan, menghayati penerimaan
bersiap menyambut pesta perpisahan
menghayati waktu, menghayati syukur

aku hidup, menghayati kematian
aku datang, menghayati kepergian

man weiß nie

miss you more

The Princess Diaries Soundtrack - Miss You More - BB Mak

This is a song by a group called BBMak. Well, I never get into the group, I never know enough about them hehe. I heard this song for the first time from a film's soundtrack album, "Princess Diaries". Hmm this song was just so catchy for my ears ^^. Does it sound cheesy? Heheh but still i like it no matter what. Actually this song is quite mellow but the melody sounds brighter, so it makes the song become a sweet love song (I love sweet things, sounds very girly ha!). I love to listen to it, especially when i miss someone hihi, i can repeat it over and over again. Sometimes i wish i could give this song or sing it for the one whom i miss (hemm i know i will never do that haha, pathetically, i'm a chicken -_-").

There are so many reasons that I find to run to you

Cos there's so little loving in my life, now I am away

And thinking about it I want things back how they used to be

There is no way round it, nothing good comes easily

So much between us and we both know that it's wrong

So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong

So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else

There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away

Are you finding it hard it all on your own

Having to face each night alone

Knowing that you are the one with the love that I need

And I miss you more each day

So many feelings emotions running away with me

Cos it's you I believe in and I love this one so deep

So much between us and we both know that it's wrong

Now I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong

Back where I belong

So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong

Back where I belong

confession

i know it was a big lie
don't you ever realize, my dear someone?
all words that had been said
all emotion that had been showed

a bitter-sweet story about a lie
no turning back, there's only me left
here, walking alone on a road to nowhere
reminiscing and remembering

when you don't even mind
i do think about you
when you don't even remember
i do really miss you

it was hard, it was toilsome
pathetic denial, there's only pain remains
painful suicidal, grieving for the death of exuberance
till the day i confess

don't you ever know, my dear someone?
the truth is i love you

may i?

nothing is exact

.......................................................................
kontras
seperti yang gestalt katakan
hitam putih abu-abu
teridentifikasi saat dipertentangkan
dunia adalah sekumpulan kontradiksi

relatif
seperti yang einstein katakan
diam berjalan lari
terjadi seiring momentum waktu
kehidupan adalah serangkaian inkonsistensi

nothing is exact.
.......................................................................

ada dalam ketiadaan

ada dalam ketiadaan
benarkah itu seperti yang diungkapkan eros pada psyche
percaya meski tak melihat
haruskah aku selalu percaya kepada ketidakpastian
berjalan atau diam akhirnya akan mati juga
hingga akhir eksistensi mencari esensi dan korelasi

ada dalam ketiadaan
berdiam dalam dunia ide
memandang dan memaknai realitas personal
menjadi hilang menarik diri
di manakah inti eksistensi?

selamat tidur

langit telah memamerkan permata terindahnya
melukiskan keindahan lengkung senyum
menaburkan kilau harapan yang tak pernah usang

redup. remang. temaram
keteduhan di bawah langit malam
sunyi. tenang. damai
kebebasan bersama sang malam

pejamkan mata. tak perlu berpikir
tidurlah. tak perlu bermimpi

selamat tidur...
kuucapkan untukmu yang mungkin tak pernah mendengarnya

ah tau ah. percuma juga ga bisa ngomong ke siapa siapa. aaargh

uhuhu i wanna go there so bad!

what? tiesto? i do listen to that kind of music hahaha.. well the more i know that i've reached this stress level. oh gosh all those things around this month only make me sick. aaah i need a vacation so bad, a far away vacation from this like-hell city.

talking about vacation, makes me wanna talk about my dream land (*.*), can you guess? hmm my dream land is absolutely IRELAND! that country, wow, what a beautiful country!!! full of green hills, perfect landscape. it looks very peaceful, hmm i do really need that. wanna go there someday! alone or with my beloved one ahaha (or maybe i'll find him there, haaa who knows).

all this rushes make me dizzy and exhausted. maybe it's a good idea if i live abroad, leave all this shit hehe. yeah, live abroad, being a stranger hmm sound very interesting. if i have enough money, i'm sure i'd be in germany by now hohoho. germany oh germany, don't you know how i really want to go there, studying and living.

i know i wouldn't that nice or easy to be a stranger, but i think i'll study more passionate there. as i said before i'm sick of this place, i need some big change haaa. sometimes it makes me sad that some of my significant others pull me down when i say about this hfufh. oh gosh, please give me some clue some way to get there. i'm not smart, not rich, not super, well it's suck sometimes to know that i'm just an ordinary girl huweee. but please I REALLY WANT TO GO TO GERMANY!!! aaarrghh.. please please please T.T

indahnya fatamorgana

sungguh apakah sebuah pengakuan akan menyelesaikan semuanya
ketika kebohongan dirangkai dengan begitu indahnya
bagai fatamorgana di gurun pasir

"Sahabat Kecil"

Hear it...

Sahabat Kecil - Ipang

hmm friends... the most magical things in my life. I thank God for giving me such a great friends. dengan ajaibnya merekalah yang selalu narik gw di saat gw udah siap terjun ke jurang, bikin gw gila bahagia di saat gw udah siap masuk rumah sakit jiwa, nemenin gw di saat gw udah siap mengasingkan diri. sangat ajaib, bahkan selalu terlalu ajaib. dengan karakternya masing-masing, bikin semua terasa lengkap dengan porsi yang pas. makasih Tuhan karena tanpa keajaiban mereka, mereka pasti ga bakal bisa nrima gw yang ajaib ini. Temen gw emang mungkin ga sebanyak yang orang-orang punya, but I do really love them, whom i call as my beloved ones, whom i call as my greatest friend, whom i call as my everlasting friend. they whom i call as "sahabat".

This song is dedicated to them... such a beautiful song of friendship. it's an original soundtrack of Laskar Pelangi movie, performed perfectly by Ipang.

Sahabat Kecil

baru saja berakhir
hujan di sore ini
menyisakan keajaiban
kilauan indahnya pelangi

tak pernah terlewatkan
dan tetap mengaguminya
kesempatan seperti ini
tak akan bisa dibeli

bersamamu kuhabiskan waktu
senang bisa mengenal dirimu
rasanya semuanya begitu sempurna
sayang untuk mengakhirinya.

melawan keterbatasan
walau sedikit kemungkinan
takkan menyerah untuk hadapi
hingga sedih tak mau datang lagi

lama tak berjumpa

hmm.. lama jua tak bersua, alhasil terlantar lah blog ini.. baru sekarang deh tersentuh lagi...

well this brand new look.. hummp after several trials = ((uploading+editing)squared) hehehe i finaly made it.. is it nice?

haha the sunrise is going to rise in a few hours.. i think it's better to go to sleep now.. see ya... i'll write soon

kehilangan kehidupan

bagaimana jika aku kehilangan kehidupan?
ya kehidupan, bukan hidup
aku hidup tanpa kehidupan
hmm apakah aku masih bisa disebut hidup?
hanya tanda kehidupan biologislah yang menjadi petanda
jikalau aku sendiri, jikalau aku menyingkir dari mereka
apakah aku masih manusia?
manusia yang konon adalah makhluk sosial